#ya – Page 2 – Enna Mari

My favourite Books of 2021, part seven [last part]. How we fall apart by Katie Zhao.

HOW WE FALL APART BY KATIE ZHAO

How we fall apart is a dark academia novel focusing on Asian American characters and the experiences of these people going through a prestigious high school while their secrets are being exposed and the murder of the queen bee. This novel displays the pressure many immigrant families and children feel as well as the hardship and the reality of always being seen as a perfect student. Not only is this book a murder mystery but it shows the world of many Asian Americans [not limited to] especially students. I loved this novel because of how much I related to the main characters, I have never felt so seen or understand from a piece of incredible writing. From the backhanded complaints rooted in racism to each character on the brink of breaking down, this novel is perfect for anyone who is Asian and wants to relate to any other who wants to learn about the experiences many Asians’ face to maybe even relating to the hard-working students with dark secrets hiding in plain sight hoping to never be caught.

Fortunately, a trigger warning was provided by the author but here’s a condensed down one: mental illness, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, abuse, self-harm, racism, parental neglect, violence, drug use, an inappropriate teacher and student relationship.

My favourite Books of 2021, part six. Legendborn by Tracy Deonn.

LEGENDBORN BY TRACY DEONN

Legendborn is an Arthurian retelling. Not only is it a well written fantasy but it also explores heavy themes such as grief and racism. After Bree’s mother dies in an accident, she wants nothing more than to escape her hometown and a perfect chance arises, Bree leaves her home. After witnessing a magic incident everything changes for Bree. This novel follows Bree as she discover a whole another world of magic and how she might even be involved. Legendborn is unlike the usual retelling, instead of having characters who are reimaged or children of well-known tales they are ancestors of the characters of King Arthur. I loved this novel for several reasons, from the fantasy side, the many complex characters, the slow budding romance, the writing style, the BIPOC representation, the LGBTQIA+ rep and of course the overall storyline. I have to say a lot happened in the last couple chapters and it was left on an incredibly exciting cliff-hanger. The sequel, Bloodmarked, is coming out in July 2022. The author also explored grief of a loved one quite in depth and it feels as if many people were\could\have\can relate. It brought together a heavy theme and put it together with an unexpected fantasy which worked comfortably. Overall, a wonderful novel and am excited to see more of the characters again soon.

Trigger warning: Racism, grief, death, anxiety, car crash, attacks.

My favourite Books of 2021, part five. Malice by Heather Walter.

MALICE BY HEATHER WALTER

Malice is a retelling of sleeping beauty. It takes a spin on this well know tale and focuses on sleeping beauty and the dark fairy turning it into a sapphic romance if they were both the same age and in their teens. It follows the life of Alyce, imagined as the dark fairy living in a household of “graces” who are “good” magic wielders, and she is the only one who is a dark grace. One day Princess Aurora comes to Alyce in search for a cure for a curse that will kill her in exactly one year. From there sparks fly and everyone knows how the story is going to end right? I loved this novel, as it is a fantasy retelling, it did take some time to dive into its world, but I would say quicker than the usual fantasy and I read it in one sitting thinking it was a standalone, it was left on such a large cliff-hanger. Thankful the sequel is coming out May 2022! I really enjoyed see a LGBTQIA+ focused romance in fantasy and am very excited to see more of the romance in the sequel to coming out soon. I would recommend to those looking for a novel with the classic “good” and “evil,” but with the back story and from the point of view of the villain.

Trigger warning: Abuse, torture, death, violence, bullying, homophobia.

My favourite Books of 2021, part four. Excuse me while I ugly cry by Joya Goffney.

EXCUSE ME WHILE I UGLY CRY BY JOYA GOFFNEY

Excuse me while I ugly cry is a contemporary romance focusing on black main characters. A girl named Quinn Jackson is obsessed with lists and when her diary goes missing, she must join forces with Carter, who was last seen with her journal. This novel follows the journey of a budding romance and fierce friendships. It was an easy one sitting read written in first person from Quinn’s perspective with fun chapter names, great character development and a loveable storyline which might even make you laugh. I respected the author for tackling heavy themes without making it the focus of the story, this created a balance of light-hearted and intense moments. The chapter names were incredibly fun, it wasn’t just one-word names, they were full sentences, and it just added another lovely touch to the book. I also liked seeing the mild “enemies to lovers” aspect in this contemporary romance even if it wasn’t prominent for long. Overall, a charming novel.

Trigger warning: racism, trauma, death.

My favourite Books of 2021, part three. The girl from the well by Rin Chupeco.

THE GIRL FROM THE WELL BY RIN CHUPECO

The girl from the well is paranormal horror story and retelling of a classic Japanese ghost story called Okiku. This novel spins this classic story into an even darker one and it is written is the perspective of the ghost which is something that is not often done. It is exquisitely written in an almost poet way. The chapter names aren’t just numbers, they are names, words and short sentences that foreshadow what’s about to happen. The book is quite graphic and covers multiple sensitive topics. I really enjoyed this novel from the dark storyline to the uniqueness of the way the novel is written, the author wrote certain sections of the book by skipping lines, angling words, etc, to really emphasise a point. It was delightful to see a ghost story I heard when I was younger made into something completely different and I personally have seen barely any Japanese retellings that isn’t fantasy so it’s good to see. Overall, this novel was wonderful in every form and even might have frightened me a little while reading it!

Trigger warning: death, murder, strangulation, injury, graphic scenes [gore], possession, sacrifice, kidnapping, trauma, blood, etc. There may be more so please procced with caution.

My favourite Books of 2021, part two. Emma in the night by Wendy Walker.

EMMA IN THE NIGHT BY WENDY WALKER.

Emma in the night is a psychological thriller about two sisters who disappear. Cass, the fifteen-year-old, the younger sister returns without Emma who is two years older, but her story doesn’t really align. Dr Abigail Winter is a forensic Psychologist on Cass’s case, she investigates Cass’s family and uncovers the truth about her dysfunctional family. This novel is written in two points of views allowing to see both side of the story, it is written well, medium paced and the timeline of the novel is set within seven days with multiple flashbacks that are easy to understand. I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and at the time when I read it, I wasn’t able to do a full book review unfortunately due to school exams, etc. This novel focused on narcissistic personality disorder, and it was interesting to see the trauma of Cass as well as Dr Abby’s. There were many unexpected plot points especially at near the end of the book and it truly shows how dysfunctional Cass’s family. I would take caution since this novel covers multiple sensitive topics. Overall, I delighted in this novel and will definitely read more of Wendy Walker’s books in the future.

Trigger warning: Narcissistic personality disorder, kidnapping, sexual assault, sexual harassment, rape, parental neglect, trauma, death, injury, etc. There may be more, please proceed with causation.

My favourite books of 2021, part one. Girls with sharp sticks by Suzanne Young.

GIRLS WITH SHARP STICKS BY SUZANNE YOUNG.

Girls with sharp sticks explores the themes of sexism and misogyny. Throughout the entire trilogy these themes are prominent. It reflects and exaggerates the issues in our society. This trilogy is all about taking back power in a world where girls are seen as nothing but objects and pretty flowers. Their whole purpose is to serve as wives, mothers and caretakers to a man and to attend to his command. They are taught at a school called, “Innovations Academy” by mainly male teachers who pretend to have the best interest of the girls. There was an element of medical procedures that was extremely unexpected, which I personally enjoyed but worn other to be wary. It is definitely a painful read since many of the comments and instances still happen today. It is plot driven with unexpected plot twists at the end of each book. It makes you want to fight for freedom and against the patriarchy.

A trigger warning for the entire trilogy: sexism, misogyny, medical procedures [lobotomy], sexual assault, sexual harassment, racism, graphic scenes [gore], murder, strangulation, poison, suicide.

The falling in love montage by Ciara Smyth

Trigger warning: dementia, trauma.

Age rating: 13+

Overall rating: 5 out of 5.

Genres: contemporary, romance (Sapphic).

A spoiler free summary
Saoirse wanted to do a couple simply things for the coming long summer holidays: go to parties, watch movies and kiss her troubles away with other girls. Saoirse feels like she deserves a break after dealing with the pain of her mother’s dementia and slowly getting over her ex, Hannah.
Here comes Ruby, the most beautiful girl Saoirse has ever seen, but Saoirse is not ready to commit to another relationship. So Ruby, the romcom fan and optimist challenges Saoirse to try a summer romance, just like in the movies. But what could go wrong with a falling in love montage with an ending date?

Review
This was such a sweet sapphic romance to read. I liked the realness of it with its darker themes of the trauma of the main character, Saoirse. The novel was easy to dive into the world and it was written in first person of Saoirse which allows for the reader to really feel the feelings of what the main character is going through. There were points throughout the book where I wanted to shout at Saoirse to do something or communicate [yes, there is miscommunication but, in a way, where it makes sense, is done well and it’s not cringey]. The author added other elements such as illness, it’s nice to see the diversity in that way too. I personally cannot say if it’s an accurate depiction, but it is not the main focus of the story. The parents of Saoirse are quite involved in the plot of the story, which is a nice touch. I really enjoyed the relationships, especially Oliver and Saoirse frenemy type. I loved the aspect of the big movie moments Ruby and Saoirse had to tick off their list, as another plus the author refenced many real movies [many I didn’t get since I’m not a movie watcher], but I’m sure if you like movies, particularly romcoms it will make the book just a tad better and the author added a large list of movies called, “Saoirse and Ruby’s Rom-Com watchlist.” There was great character development, obviously Saoirse as well as other side characters. There is one small side character named Barbara or Barb and she is such a loveable character I honestly wished she was more involved in the novel. The writing was easy to understand but had a lot of depth and overall, I really enjoyed this book.

Quotes
“As a great philosopher once said: shake it off.”
“Oh wisht. You think I could work in the business of love this long and not get some of that gaydar? I’ve known some brides in my day who shouldn’t have been marrying grooms, that’s for sure. You still get the odd one here and there who doesn’t know it yet, poor dears. I try and give them a hint, you know subtle, would you not like a nice pantsuit, dear. That sort of thing.”
“Whether that relationship lasts a week or fifty years is not what makes it special.”

Recommendation
If you want a sapphic read with big movie moments this book is for you. This novel is light-hearted and heavy at the same time, filled moments that will make you want to shout and laugh.

Pros: I love when authors add the reader into the acknowledgments, it makes the novel special. This was done in this book. There was sapphic rep and it wasn’t set in the US, nothing against the US but it’s nice to see a different location.
Cons: Not too many I can think of in the moment, apart from a little more diversity in the race department [if there was it wasn’t clear], but I’m not sure if it’s a valid complaint/con, since there is diversity in other categories.

I know you did it by Sue Wallman

I know you did it by Sue Wallman.

Trigger warning: murder, mentions of a death of a young child.

Age rating: 13+

Overall rating: 4.2 out of 5

Gernes: Contemporary, mystery, thriller.

A spoiler free summary
On Ruby Marshall’s first day of school, she gets a written message on her locker: I KNOW YOU DID IT.
Now she’s petrified someone knows about the death of young girl she caused many years ago and the incident she ran away from is following her.
When students start dying Ruby might be framed as the killer or she might be next.
A story that follows a high school student exploring the struggles of moving schools and even a murderer on the loose.

Review
The beginning of the novel was a little slow paced and felt dragged on. The main mystery plot of the story started to roll halfway through the novel. But the second half of the book was quite enjoyable. The characters involved were easy to decipher and it was clear what their personality traits and their role in the plot was. During the second half of the novel there were several unexpected plot points thrown in [they were small plot points but added flair to the story], especially in the last couple chapters. A number of plot points were predictable, but I would say there was a wonderful balance of predicable and unpredictable. The writing in the book wasn’t amazing, it was very simple and would be easy to understand for a younger audience. I liked how the author incorporated music into the book without making it the central plotline. The relationships between some of the characters were quite stereotypical but fortunately it was well done. The entire novel was written in first person from the perspective of Ruby Marshall. The adults were very present in the story which is quite unusual so that was nice. Overall, I enjoyed the book and liked many of the characters such as Georgia, Euan and Mara.

Quotes
“I went to bed, feeling as if our friendship was evaporating slowly, like the reed diffuser Mum was given last Christmas which started out strong, but after a few months nothing but a faint smell and dry sticks in an empty bottle.

Recommendation
If you want a book with easy-to-understand language this would be a good book. Although murder is the main plotline there’s a sprinkle of a sweet romance.

Pros: Loved the dedication at the beginning of the book which was: “For every student who missed their school library during the pandemic.”
Cons: There was no diversity at all, if there was it wasn’t clear to me.

How we fall apart by Katie Zhao

Trigger warning: Author provides at the beginning of the book! [Feel free to contact me if you want to know more.]

Age rating: 14+

Overall rating: 6 out of 5 [Yes, I gave it a 6 out of 5. I might be biased but I’ve never related to a book so much].

Gernes: Young Adult, Fiction, Mystery, Thriller

A spoiler free summary
Jamie Ruan is the queen bee of Sinclair prep. Everyone sees her as rich, happy and the top student at the school. One day she ends up dead.
An anonymous person called the proctor posts on the school’s social media app, claiming that Jamie’s ex-best friends are behind her death.
Akil Patel is top track star at Sinclair prep.
Krystal Choi is known for her killer fashion sense.
Alexander Lin is always focused on his grades.
Nancy Luo is scholarship student absorbed in nothing but being on top of her grades.
So why are they being targeted? What secrets are being threatened to be revealed? Why are they so desperate to hide their secrets? Maybe they aren’t so perfect after all…

Review
How do I begin, I loved this book! Everything was done so well in this book, and I have never felt so seen. This might be the closest I’ve ever come to crying because it was so relatable. This book explores the pressure immigrants [not limited to] face within themselves, against school and the high expectations of others around them especially their parents. It touches and shows the effect how this mentality can really affect mental health of many young people and it recognizes this issue. You can tell the author has experienced this or gone through something similar. The whole plot line was so unpredictable, and it kept me guessing what could possibly happen next. It was lovely to see the relationship of all the character no matter if it was good or bad. I loved the fact Nancy, Krystal, Akil and Alexander seemed perfect on the outside [before everything was revealed] to everyone around them but, they had plenty of imperfections. It was wonderful to see the four friends’ relationship and what kept them close together even after the Incident [if you know you know 😉]. Each of the core four characters were so different and unique in their own, yet a lot of it was realistic to teens in this generation [in my experience, apart from the murder plotline obviously]. The whole book was in one point of view, Nancy Luo, and had multiple flashbacks scattered throughout the book, but those flashbacks were not confusing at all. They really added more understanding to the entire storyline. This book had everything I wanted, an intriguing cast, unpredictable storyline and mostly the representation!
This was one of those books that when you finish it you just need it to settle in, I couldn’t read a book for at least four days [if you know the feeling you know]. I’m very excited for Katie Zhao’s next upcoming YA book, The lies we tell in 2022 and her other books in the future. 😊

Quotes
“I was always lying. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t in order to fit in. Pretending was so much easier than being who I really was.”
“Nobody would want to know the gritty unpleasant details about what it took - what it really took – to get there.”
“That was what he said, but I had the sneaking suspicion that he was barely holding it together. I could see the same cracks forming in his image. I saw those same cracks every time I glanced in the mirror.”
“I shouldn’t let anyone else get too close. The only person I could depend on was myself.”
“No lonelier feeling in the world than having people stare at you all the time, but nobody truly seeing you.”
“I heard myself nicknamed every variation of the word ‘smart’.”
“Don’t push yourself too hard. The permission I’d waited for, my whole life.”

Recommendation
If you liked One of us is lying by Karen M. McManus and the Don’t get mad duology by Gretchen McNeil but with a twist and with Asian representation, you’ll love How we fall apart.
It may also open your eyes to how some immigrant children\families feel in places such as America, the UK and Australia. Or you may find this book to be a comfort and recognition of your existence.

Pros: Loved the names of the chapters, confession one, etc. I also enjoyed the fact there were thoughts from anonymous students from the app as the beginning of each chapter. The representation was there! Will definitely become one of my favourites and a comfort book for sure.
Cons: The only one I can think of is I wish it was longer, but I have feeling there might be a sequel or at least I hope so, so it’s not a real complaint. So, I have none.