The Lies We Tell by Katie Zhao Trigger warning: Stalking, murder, hate crime, racism, kidnapping. Age rating:14+ Overall rating: 4.75 out of 5 Gernes: Young Adult, Mystery. A spoiler free summary Anna wants to start a new at her local university. She wants to excel academically and create new friendships, all while ignoring her childhood academic rival, Chris Lu. But there is another reason which has brought her here, the unsolved murder of her former babysitter enraptures her in morbid fascination. When the Lu bakery is attacked, Anna links it to the unsolved crime and she can’t help but feel its underlining motives and is forcefully drawn to Chris. After feeling threatened and no longer comfortable in her own school, the two come together to figure out who and what is behind these targeted attacks. Review I quite enjoyed this novel, rather simple in its nature but appreciated that it discussed heavy themes that are incredibly relevant today. The beginning of the novel was more on the slower side and the real mystery began about one third of the way through. The two main characters, Anna and Chris are very likable and were especially relatable to me. I loved seeing the representation in the novel but also with the dark and sad side that comes with living in a country such as America where being Asian is the minority. As the story follows a string of hate crimes, from murder to stalking, it reflects the spike in hate crimes against people of Asian descent during beginning the covid pandemic [and onwards]. Katie incorporated real life situations that everyone has lived through/seen on social media. She shines a light on these issues through a dark novel and reveals the fear some of us may have. It pulls focus to it and for especially people who have never been a minority shows the thinking and inner feelings of the characters, which is unfortunately still very relevant today. Though some may disagree, I appreciated that romance did not play a major role in the story, although the blurb was a little miss leading. The parents of Anna and Chris were not forgotten and are some of the primary characters in this story, it thoroughly explores the stereotypical expectations and the inner rivalry to achieve the best thing possible out of everyone present. The writing is simple and easy to understand yet intriguing, the story is slower paced at the beginning but may still be a good read for those in a reading slump. Depending on the expectations one may have for the novel, the rating may differ on social media, many made it seemed to have academic rivals to lovers which is true but it should not be the sole reason to read this novel as it is not a large component of the novel. Yet again, I was quite excited to read a novel by Katie Zhao and it did not disappoint. I was also able to really appreciate the reference to How We Fall Apart, a small nod to the other novel. The reference to a music group was a fun find in the novel, which speaks to the comfort and energy artists can give someone in hard times no matter the genre. Another personal point to mention, while I was reading this novel, there was almost a parallel universe type thing which might have inspired a short story [if I can get to it]. Quotes “There was someone there with her, and yet, she had never been more alone.” “That was one of the first things I looked from whenever I was a new setting, and seeing that the crowd wasn’t totally white was reassuring.” “I didn’t feel safe being me any longer, and I wondered if I would feel comfortable in my own skin ever again.” Recommendations If you are looking for a medium paced mystery centralised on racism while pursuing higher education this book is for you. It focuses on two main characters navigating a period of time riddled in hate crimes and racism. Although the book starts off as medium paced novel, the last half quickens up and the book will be over before you know it. Pros Explores relevant issues of racism and hate crimes especially spiking during the height of the covid pandemic. The main characters are Asian and discuss some of the family dynamics as well. Cons Wished the novel was longer so we could see more of the character growth. A trigger warning would have been good, especially since it discusses topics that are very relevant today and may be triggering for some. The blurb is a little misleading as it hints towards a more dramatic rivals to lovers trope for the two main characters and this can lead people to have different expectations. Note: I read this back in January but still wanted to post a review since I had been waiting for this book to be released.
Tag: #asianrepresentation
Violence Ended Delights by Enna Mari [Based on Chloe Gong’s Duology]
MAJOR SPOILERS for These Violent Delights and Our Violent Ends by Chloe Gong.
Violence Ended Delights by Enna Mari [Based on Chloe Gong's Duology] Our streets run red, But our hearts in shreds, The love that was meant to hold, Received, what was meant to be told, It’s forbidden and lost, But we wondered at what cost, The hate that lined the lanes, A monster going quite insane, Rampaged and killed someway, Bugs dug the brain preparing to stay, As streets line with chaos, We stand without remorse, We were grown and sold, Working to be as good as the old, Hoping we will be great enough, Perhaps they are, they are rough, Silk tided after a knockout, The intention to kill was without, Surprised, yet a trigger was aimed, They were then brought, shamed, Panic and love grows within, Someone was about to win, A sacrifice was going to be made, Someone was shot, becoming a fade, No one could know of the blood spilled, Of family and the next heir killed, The rules broken, a stunned moment, A forgotten friend, the component, Shocked and struck the love turns, A forced conversation churns, While city undergoes revolution, We said the words with absolution, No more leaving, together at last, A time just as short as the past, A fire of sacrifice, a claim of life, Façade of safety and a security strife, They ended by laying side by side, Names carved in stone, but everything feels lied.
Violence Ended Delights is a poem I wrote quite a while ago on Chloe Gong’s duology: These Violent Delights and Our Violent Ends. I wrote this before Foul Lady Fortune so I did not know anything that might happen to any of the characters in the duology. The main reason I wanted to write it was due to the way Chloe wrote the books, her writing style is so unique and beautiful, as well as her overall storylines which are delightfully composed. I also loved her books and this was a way I could spotlight them. Although the poem is quite long, longer in length than what I usually would write, it hardly capture the duology but those who have read it will understand the very niche references.
Loveboat, Taipei by Abigail Hing Wen
Loveboat, Taipei Trigger warning: Racism, internalised racism, stereotyping. Age rating:14+ Overall rating: 5.2 out of 5 Genres: Young Adult, contemporary romance. A spoiler free summary Ever Wong is unexpectedly sent away by her parents to Taipei. She arrives anticipating a strict educational program, but she could not be more wrong. The Loveboat is place where adults are “oblivious” to the continuous nightlife and hook-ups. Will this be Ever’s chance to be who she wants to be and give her the courage to chase her actual dreams rather than her parent’s expectations? Review I loved Loveboat, Taipei so much, there were so many moments where I was really able to connect to the main characters. This book was one I annotated quite a lot [I’m not really an annotating reader] for the first time in a while and I really related to many of the thoughts and feelings of the main character, such as feeling too Asian in one environment and not Asian enough in another. It made my heart swell with seeing so much representation in one novel, it felt as if the author was trying to fit as many different East Asian voices as she could to make up for the lack of representation in the literary world and this novel definitely should receive more hype. It did have some clichés and stereotypes throughout the novel but all of which are unfortunately still binding to Asians in the real world. The author, though her characters really unpacked some of it conveying a message to readers that it is okay to not be part of the stereotypes but it’s also okay to be part of them as well, also expressing sometimes it is not completely the parents’ faults either but rather society’s expectations. The romance gives slight enemies to lovers energy and the friendships were so precious and makes it more heart breaking when something unexpected happens. Even the characters I did not particular liked grew on me and I was able to appreciate their roles in the story. The writing style not insanely complex but it is very well written and descriptive, it is also quite a fast paced novel and has a reasonable amount of dialogue. The main focus of the story is coming to terms with one’s identity and what that means to the main character while exploring romance and finding friends who are like you. It is nice to see that family is not forgotten about, especially since Young Adult novels often do and are mentioned throughout the novel showing the importance of family to the main character even if they hold her back from pursuing her dreams. I also love when authors add a note to the reader whether it is a dedication or in the acknowledgements, but the author added a page giving background information and a thank you to the reader which I appreciate. Throughout the novel she added a random fact perfect to the storyline and I enjoy that you can learn something like that from a novel. I am very much looking forward to reading the second novel but am a little sad to see it is not from Ever’s perspective but of Sophie’s since I grew quite attached to Ever. In other views Sophie will definitely be an interesting character to see her thoughts so I’m sure “Loveboat, Reunion” will be a fantastic read as this one. Overall, I really loved this novel, especially the representation as well as family dynamics and connecting friendships. Quotes “you don’t do anything to draw attention to your asianess,” “my parents would slit their throats for my happiness, and in return my future is their future.” “I don’t know a soul here but, in this moment, the loneliness I feel is overridden by the larger strangeness of blending in.” “even among a horde of Chinese Americans I’m not Chinese American enough.” “I opened my lunch box to shrieks of horrified, “what are those?” and I begged my mom not to pack me any more weird Chinese food.” “we need to take back these stereotypes.” “I’m not the only one taking charge of my identity this summer.” “I used to avoid looking in the mirror with my Caucasian friends, because my eyes seemed small in comparison.” Recommendations Looking to find Asian representation, this book is for you. It heavy explores being Asian and the pressures/stereotypes it comes with as well as growing into the person you are meant to be. Pros Explores family dynamics, finding friends who are the same as you, coming to terms with one’s identity and a “unexpected” sweet romance. Cons Nothing in particular at this moment.
These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong.
These violent delights by Chloe Gong Trigger warning: violence, guns, knives, trauma, death, insects, gore, discrimination. Age rating: 14+ Overall rating: 5.6 out of 5. Genres: Historical Fiction, Young Adult, Fantasy, Romance, Retelling. A spoiler free summary In 1920’s Shanghai the streets run red with blood between two gangs: the scarlet gang and the white flowers. A constant blood feud beginning generations ago is stronger than ever. Juliette Cai is at the heart of the scarlets, the eighteen-year-old, a former flapper returns to assume her role as the heir. The Scarlet gang’s only rival is the white flowers whose heir, Roma Montagov is Juliette’s first love and betrayal… But when people show signs of madness and start clawing at their own throats, death stacks up but when both gangs are affected, Juliette and Roma must put their weapons and resentments aside to stop this chaos or there will be no city left for either of them to rule… Review These violent delights was such an amazing read! It was written elegantly; the descriptions flowed and carried the story. The author’s writing style reminded me a little of the way classic authors write but take out the bad parts, modernise it to fit young adult and she added her own unique spin. I loved everything about this novel, the characters, the relationships, the chemistry, the setting, the atmosphere, and I was extremely excited to read the sequel. There was a time when this book was circulating the media and I would say it deserves the hype it got. This book really takes you on an emotional rollercoaster in a way you may not expect, the chemistry between every single character was spectacular. This novel was written in third person with dual perspectives of Roma and Juliette which really showcased their enemies to lover’s trope, as well as other occasional sections written from the semi-main/side characters contributing unexpectedly well to the overall story line. This book [and our violent ends] particularly stood out to me because of its Asian rep and the in-depth personalities of those characters showed me I was capable of being just as strong as them. This is one of the first books I read with Asian main characters\protagonists [especially in the historical, fantasy] which is extremely sad I wasn’t able to find novels with people who looked like me without it fitting into stereotypes. The unforgettable characters made it impossibly hard to leave their world behind [especially after the sequel]. The fact that it was a fantasy novel with a large Asian cast made me feel so happy to be seen represented. There were many lovely characters, even the smaller side ones made sense to the story and added impacted to the over arcing storylines and character development. The mix of cultures added something that is very real in today’s age, the fact where everywhere you go there is a diverse range of people. I really enjoyed the use of multiple languages, there were some moments where I had to reread over a bit but the author cleverly wove them in and when the characters spoke those languages in a loving way it made it such a large impact. The list of characters I loved were endless, so I won’t be naming them. There was lgbtqia+ rep found in the side characters, but it wasn’t the characters’ main personality, it was just a part of them which I loved and appreciated. Overall, I loved this book, and it gave me the best sense of emotions, Chloe gong’s writing style is something I wish to explore more and am very excited for Chloe’s future works. This novel also made me feel represented in the fantasy/historical fiction realm and it just makes you feel like anything is possible with the Asian representation I have lacked in literature. Quotes “We stay quiet about the injustice of all this simply because it hurts his feelings?” “Too many kind hearts turn cold every day.” “You destroy me, and you kiss me. You give me reason to hate you and then you give me reason to love you. Is this a lie or the truth? Is this a ploy or your heart reaching for me?” “Hope was the most vicious evil of them all, the thing that had managed to thrive in a pandora’s box among misery, and disease, and sadness – and what could endure alongside others with such teeth if it didn’t have ghastly claws of its own?” “It is a sound that exists incongruous with the rest of the anxiety seeping along this city’s arteries.” Recommendations An enemies to lovers duology in an intensity filled environment with rebellion, gangsters and a blood feud set in an imaginative world and ribboned in by the author’s incredible beautiful writing ready to take you on an emotional roller-coaster. Pros: Asian and lgbtqia+ (side characters) rep. How much the novel took me on an emotional rollercoaster, how uniquely well the novel/s were written and the Romeo and Juliet retelling. Cons Nothing, absolutely nothing, it is perfect as it is.
Haikus based on How We Fall Apart by Katie Zhao.
Appearance was perfect Nothing left, a Web of lies Alone yet never Nobody knew it Unknown, everyone struggling Mentally harmful Betray or study Completed both, almost died Forgiven at last
I wrote these Haikus a while ago and I realised I never posted them on my blog. The simple format of haikus really lets you understand the basic message and sometimes simple is best. There is beauty to be found in the bare and of course my first book based poems had to be on How We Fall Apart by Katie Zhao.
Is there Queer Rep in These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong?
Yes, in the first couple chapters a character is introduced and hinted at being trans in a creative way, Kathleen is semi-main character and her queerness it is not mentioned much after that, it is just a part of her not her “only” personality trait which is unfortunately commonly done by numerous authors.
More lgbtqia+ characters are introduced as being queer in the thrilling sequel, “Our Violent Ends.”
![My favourite Books of 2021, part seven [last part]. How we fall apart by Katie Zhao.](https://ennamari.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/screenshot_20220120-204740_gallery.jpg?w=825&h=510&crop=1)
My favourite Books of 2021, part seven [last part]. How we fall apart by Katie Zhao.
HOW WE FALL APART BY KATIE ZHAO
How we fall apart is a dark academia novel focusing on Asian American characters and the experiences of these people going through a prestigious high school while their secrets are being exposed and the murder of the queen bee. This novel displays the pressure many immigrant families and children feel as well as the hardship and the reality of always being seen as a perfect student. Not only is this book a murder mystery but it shows the world of many Asian Americans [not limited to] especially students. I loved this novel because of how much I related to the main characters, I have never felt so seen or understand from a piece of incredible writing. From the backhanded complaints rooted in racism to each character on the brink of breaking down, this novel is perfect for anyone who is Asian and wants to relate to any other who wants to learn about the experiences many Asians’ face to maybe even relating to the hard-working students with dark secrets hiding in plain sight hoping to never be caught.
Fortunately, a trigger warning was provided by the author but here’s a condensed down one: mental illness, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, abuse, self-harm, racism, parental neglect, violence, drug use, an inappropriate teacher and student relationship.
How we fall apart by Katie Zhao
How we fall apart by Katie Zhao Trigger warning: Author provides at the beginning of the book! [Feel free to contact me if you want to know more.] Age rating: 14+ Overall rating: 6 out of 5 [Yes, I gave it a 6 out of 5. I might be biased but I’ve never related to a book so much]. Gernes: Young Adult, Fiction, Mystery, Thriller A spoiler free summary Jamie Ruan is the queen bee of Sinclair prep. Everyone sees her as rich, happy and the top student at the school. One day she ends up dead. An anonymous person called the proctor posts on the school’s social media app, claiming that Jamie’s ex-best friends are behind her death. Akil Patel is top track star at Sinclair prep. Krystal Choi is known for her killer fashion sense. Alexander Lin is always focused on his grades. Nancy Luo is scholarship student absorbed in nothing but being on top of her grades. So why are they being targeted? What secrets are being threatened to be revealed? Why are they so desperate to hide their secrets? Maybe they aren’t so perfect after all… Review How do I begin, I loved this book! Everything was done so well in this book, and I have never felt so seen. This might be the closest I’ve ever come to crying because it was so relatable. This book explores the pressure immigrants [not limited to] face within themselves, against school and the high expectations of others around them especially their parents. It touches and shows the effect how this mentality can really affect mental health of many young people and it recognizes this issue. You can tell the author has experienced this or gone through something similar. The whole plot line was so unpredictable, and it kept me guessing what could possibly happen next. It was lovely to see the relationship of all the character no matter if it was good or bad. I loved the fact Nancy, Krystal, Akil and Alexander seemed perfect on the outside [before everything was revealed] to everyone around them but, they had plenty of imperfections. It was wonderful to see the four friends’ relationship and what kept them close together even after the Incident [if you know you know 😉]. Each of the core four characters were so different and unique in their own, yet a lot of it was realistic to teens in this generation [in my experience, apart from the murder plotline obviously]. The whole book was in one point of view, Nancy Luo, and had multiple flashbacks scattered throughout the book, but those flashbacks were not confusing at all. They really added more understanding to the entire storyline. This book had everything I wanted, an intriguing cast, unpredictable storyline and mostly the representation! This was one of those books that when you finish it you just need it to settle in, I couldn’t read a book for at least four days [if you know the feeling you know]. I’m very excited for Katie Zhao’s next upcoming YA book, The lies we tell in 2022 and her other books in the future. 😊 Quotes “I was always lying. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t in order to fit in. Pretending was so much easier than being who I really was.” “Nobody would want to know the gritty unpleasant details about what it took - what it really took – to get there.” “That was what he said, but I had the sneaking suspicion that he was barely holding it together. I could see the same cracks forming in his image. I saw those same cracks every time I glanced in the mirror.” “I shouldn’t let anyone else get too close. The only person I could depend on was myself.” “No lonelier feeling in the world than having people stare at you all the time, but nobody truly seeing you.” “I heard myself nicknamed every variation of the word ‘smart’.” “Don’t push yourself too hard. The permission I’d waited for, my whole life.” Recommendation If you liked One of us is lying by Karen M. McManus and the Don’t get mad duology by Gretchen McNeil but with a twist and with Asian representation, you’ll love How we fall apart. It may also open your eyes to how some immigrant children\families feel in places such as America, the UK and Australia. Or you may find this book to be a comfort and recognition of your existence. Pros: Loved the names of the chapters, confession one, etc. I also enjoyed the fact there were thoughts from anonymous students from the app as the beginning of each chapter. The representation was there! Will definitely become one of my favourites and a comfort book for sure. Cons: The only one I can think of is I wish it was longer, but I have feeling there might be a sequel or at least I hope so, so it’s not a real complaint. So, I have none.
Enna Mari 